Then Again
by Vampire Crayons
Summary: I could kiss him now, and some part of me wanted to. But my thoughts screamed: “No! It’s not right! He is not right!” I wanted to agree with my head, but desire kept me seated in the Rabbit, one hand holding firmly to the door handle... inv. NM. E over J.
1. Resurfaced

**(A/N: This takes place in New Moon when Bella and Jacob are driving home in the Rabbit. The tension of Bella leaning in the kiss Jake, the possibility, and the fact that I changed the story around a bit: Alice doesn't come. Its just an idea, a hopeless, but intriguing idea, none the ness.)**

Chapter One- Resurfaced 

I could kiss him now, and some part of me wanted to. But my thoughts screamed: "No! It's not right! _He_ is not right!" I wanted to agree with my head, but desire kept me seating in the Rabbit, one hand holding firmly to the door handle like it was my lifeline.

_Kiss him?_

I couldn't. No. I'm not physically able. I'm not emotionally available. Heck! I just a fucking ball full of sunshine over here! Unlike my real sun staring intently into my eyes- probably wondering what I'm thinking as I return the stare.

With a stab of pain I quickly oppressed, I realized how much this reminded me of someone else. _Him._

The hell with it! Say his name, Bella. Just spit it out!

_Edward_,I thought. And at the same moment Jacob brought his lips down to kiss mine. Fancy that, I'm kissing a werewolf.

The pain erupted in my chest, tearing me in two. I broke free from his embrace with frantic gasps. My arms clung around my sides, willing them back into place, but I wasn't strong enough to hold in this much pain. Tears pooled at the corners of my eyes and a faint whimper resounded in my chest.

"Bella? Bella? What's wrong? Let me help!" Jacob was just as frantic now, with his hand reaching to stroke my cheek. In a gesture meant to be consoling I shivered and shook him off.

How could I tell him _he_ was wrong? How could I tell him I wished I could take that kiss back? How would I express how much I needed….gasp….Edward right now?

I wish he were here. The pain inside became a burning, like the vampire venom James had bitten into my hand. I regrettably remembered Edward, again, saving my life in the broken ballet studio. If only he could save me now. His could touch was just perfect now, to stop the sorrow in my heart. I knew his strong arms could hold me together. We could have been together. Couldn't we?

The door rocketed open; almost breaking it's hinges as I pushed myself out its frame. In moments I was running into the trees, tripping only once in my haste.

"Edward!" I called out. "Come back! Come back to me! You didn't have to leave! You are my life! Why don't you want me?" The sobs broke free from my racking frame and I doubled over onto the mossy ground.

I was alone. Jacob was most likely too afraid of my reaction to come. Smart boy he is. Dumb girl I am. Crying girl I am, was, and forever will be, with my heart wandering away from me. _Bring back my heart, Edward. If you don't want it, give it back!_

A new resolution came to me. Alice and Cullens had become familiar to me. Maybe I could force a vision of me onto Alice, as far away as she is. Edward didn't love me, but she was still my friend, right? She would come back to me, in my time of need. Alice wouldn't let me die this way. Then again, who's to say this idea wasn't blasphemy. If only I had scientific proof, or Carlisle's reassurance, that this idea would work.

I shimmed up the side of the tree until I was standing. One of my arms propped onto the tree for support while the other locked like a vice around my torso, fiercely, like it was trying to squeeze the evil out.

"Alice," I whispered at first. "Alice!" I began shouting. "Please don't abandon me, I need you! I miss him so much. Just tell him that. He still has my heart! Tell him. And if he doesn't want it, give it back to me! I need it! It hurts!" Convulsed with my tears again I crumpled.

Warm, strong arms buoyed me from underneath and lifted me up into a familiar dark- no russet- colored face of Jacob Black.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I didn't know what I was doing to you, I shouldn't, but-."

I broke from my reverie of tears to place a finger over his lips. "It's not your fault, Jake. It's me." Lament came easily now, once the feeling of desertion resurfaced.

He wiped away my tears, though my eyes were still bleary. "Nothing's wrong with you. It's all _his _fault. You're just fine. You can have me, I'll make you better."

"Put me down." My voice was still forceful through the depression.

"What? No." Obviously he wasn't expecting that kind of reaction to his words.

"Put me down, now!"

He shook his head. "I'm bringing you home. You need some rest, and some medicine for your throat after today's incident."

"I can walk," I pouted angrily- the effect ruined by a sniffle.

"No." And he sped off before I could protest more. The house wasn't far, only a couple of seconds in superhuman speed.

He buried me under blankets and tucked them around me. Pleased with what he had done he brought his gaze from the bedpost back to my face. His eyes were weary.

"I know you don't want me, Isabella." He sighed. "But I need so much to be with you now."

My lips curled inward as I shook my head furiously.

"Why do you let him hurt you, Bells!" He growled. "I cant believe you! He's not even here and you still cling to him."

I glared back. He didn't know what he was delving into.

"Edward," Jake spat. I cringed at the name. He notice. "Does that still bother you? His name? Edward?"

I turned over in the bed. "Go away, Jake."

"Not until you let me fix this."

"Fine!" I snapped. "You want to do some healing, do you? Why don't you rip my empty heart out of my chest? Maybe then the pain will stop. You'll finally have it wont you? The lifeless heart of mine." I gasped for air from not pausing in my rant. Then my body trembled violently.

"Bella?" He was worried again. "Do you have a fever?" His hand was immediately on my head, but of course he wouldn't be able to feel anything with his fire like warm hands anyway. The slight touch coaxed the burning inside to a larger flame. So. Much. Pain.

Once again I turned away, tearing into my pillow until it was soaked with the dried out salty streams from my eyes. I thought I had been making such progress, only to have it dashed with a quick kiss. Perhaps I could never love again. If only…

But, no. I never was able to fall asleep, yet I kept my eyes shut only to fool Jacob's eyes. He rubbed soothing circles into my back until the gasping stopped. It had to stop. My throat was just too sore from the salt water to carry on.

At some point he left, whispering in my ear. "I'll be back tomorrow. Don't worry. I'll take care of you."

I scoffed at the thought. Like I need caring. I know what I need.

At some point I found myself thinking, maybe hallucinating, Edwards voice and mine chorused together, saying: _Come back, come back, come back. _


	2. Affirmation

**(A/N: Alice's point of view, now. The Cullens are residing in Alaska, at the moment, while Edward is running about the globe. )**

Chapter Two- Affirmation

She had to be hurting. I was hurting! We had a connection, not just she and Edward, and how I missed my best friend so.

When good things come to an end one-cant help but feel remorse. My brother did his best to hide it, no doubt failing from Jasper's abilities, but the effort it took for him to look his family in the eye was clear proof. He would claim that what he had with Isabella wasn't a good thing, contrary. But it was. It was very good for him, and the rest of this family. This coven of vampires needed Bella in our existence just as much as Edward. But we suppressed those thoughts; anything to save him from hurting.

Not only was I, and in my beliefs- Bella hurting, so was Edward. We all are. How can leaving be best? I can't say I have the most regret of them all, but I rank pretty damn high.

"Alice?" Jasper crept behind me with less than audible steps, that is, if I were human.

I sighed. "No worries, Jas. I'm just reflecting."

He growled, not too sternly.

"Fine, okay. I'm holding out for some visions. Big whoop." I crossed my arms and flipped over on large king-sized bed.

Jasper scooted closed and laid along my backside, ensconcing me will this tallness. "This is my room, too, and I will _not_ be shunned out of it."

I harrumphed but didn't face him.

"Please, Alice? You're killing me, here. How can I live without seeing my beautiful love's face?" I could hear the smile in his voice.

My eyes blackened. How could he joke about things like this? One: He was already dead- as am I and the rest of our coven. And, Two: Isn't this how Bella must be feeling. Screw Edward's theory; she most certainly won't move on. I saw the looks, the love. They were made for each other. Literally.

He noticed my stiffening and whispered below the average hearing, "Tell me."

"Bella," I said, simply put.

"Ah," Even his own tone sounded downcast. And that's without the help of my emotions.

I opened my cold lips to speak again but all that came out was a strange garbled sound and then blackness.

_Bella… Bella running, into the woods. Bella falling, crying, shaking. _

_She stood, somewhat uncertain and leaned her body against the trunk of the nearest tree. _(My heart nearly broke watching her)

"_Alice," She whispered. "Alice!" then shouting. "Please don't abandon me, I need you! I miss him so much. Just tell him that. He still has my heart! Tell him. And if he doesn't want it, give it back to me! I need it! It hurts!" Convulsed with my tears again I crumpled. _

_I heard a slight ruffle in the underbrush just as Bella fell, once again. And then the sound of a muffled huff… no more._

"Alice?" Jasper called me back to reality. "Alice!" He shook my frame by the shoulders, willing me back to life.

My face fell, and if I could cry tears, I would. All that came out were strangled sobs for the misery of my friend. Not out of pity, but sympathy; I understood.

"It's horrible, Jasper. She just keeps getting worse. I don't think I can stand this anymore. We're both at a breaking point."

"Tell me what you saw, please?" He begged. Though we all denied it, we lived for my visions of our little human. Well I guess she wasn't _ours_ anymore. Everyone wouldn't know of this soon enough.

I flipped over on the coverlet to bury my face into my lover's chest. Bella would give anything to have this moment with Edward. I know, because now I had the proof.

"She was calling for me." I bawled. "She looked a mess, and sounded worse. I saw her running into the woods. She shouted mine and Edward's name and crumpled to the ground, crying. It was ghastly to watch. I wish I was there… to help her."

"As do I," He muttered into my hair.

In that instant I sprung up from the bed and proceeded to my closet, where a mass of designer labels went soaring out from its doors by my own hands.

Jasper sensed my anger and caught on quickly. With one hand on each of my arms he restrained me. "You can do this, Alice. We promised Edward."

"Yeah, well, I promised him I wouldn't look into Bella's future. Guess it doesn't matter anymore." I tugged my arms out of his grasp. "And you know what? Edward can run away as long as he wants to… but I'm going home!"

I felt even more so upset after distressing Jasper. He made it clear by stepping away from my clothes heap that he would not be going with me. I was a bit dismayed, but nothing could deter me.

"Carlisle," Jasper said beside me.

I glanced up at the sage vampire standing in my doorway.

"I'm sorry, Alice. Esme and I couldn't help but overhear from below. Are you going back to forks?"

I nodded my head solemnly to my father figure. "Yes." The packing began again, and for awhile there was silence.

"Rose wants to go with you," Carlisle finally spoke up.

Astounded, I dropped the pair of slacks I was holding and looked up at him, then Jasper. "Rosalie wants to see Bella?"

Jasper nodded. "I can feel guilt rolling off her by the tons. But there's also a bit of relief. I think she missed little Miss Swan."

I smiled and stuffed the pants away, zipping the duffel bag shut in one lithe movement.

"I need to get going if I want to catch the eight o'clock flight. The tickets are going to be sold out in exactly two hours and forty-five minutes." I winked and disappeared down the stairs and to my Porsche, where I found my sister already seated inside.

"Drive, Alice," She commanded plainly.


	3. Closet

**(A/N: Someone had to come home, and Alice worked out in the books, so why not her? Besides, she **_**is**_** the most likely candidate, and Rosalie is probably the most unlikely. On that note, Edward is too stubborn- and too much a 'fool in love' to come home. He doesn't see visions, so how will he know as he's running frantic around the world? I feel a bit guilty about stubbing Jake with the worse end of the stick, but, things will work out. I'll ponder on this.)**

Chapter Three- Closet

(Bella's Point-Of-View)

Harsh sunlight stabbed my eyelids with light as it willed me awake. I groaned and rolled over, trying to reunite myself with the dark. Only, instead of crushing myself into a soft pillow, I bumped into a hard, frying pan warm body.

I gasped and shrank away, scooting to sit up on my pillow.

Jake was right about being here 'tomorrow'. It seemed he never left.

His sleeping form breathed shallowly, making his large frame expand and contract. Two extremely oversized bare feet dangled off the end of the bedpost lazily.

I had to admit, even if it was only the smallest part of me, that I was glad to have him there. Waking up alone, and to no one… I don't know how I would have reacted. Still, Jacob didn't have the same angelic face as my used-to-be protector. I felt a tad bit guilty about freaking out on him last night. He deserved better (which roughly translates to: _Not me._) Jake would argue, just like _him. _

I couldn't say his name anymore. Look how much destruction the name caused even just thinking it. After all, "What's in a name?" Shakespeare had written. Oh, where art thou Romeo? What will become of me?

_Paris, Paris, Paris, _only my best friend.

One silent tear dripped down my cheek and it was quickly wiped away. There was no room for remorse on an empty stomach.

I scuttled out of bed, careful not to disturb the wolf-man still unconscious there. Not like he would wake up if I kicked him, but… better take precautions anyways, rather than chance anything.

Unfortunately, the sneaky ninja slipped on her socked foot and headed straight to the dusted over stereo on my computer desk. _Slam!_ My forehead bonked into a button fixed to the top of the hard plastic machine.

The music was faint but I could hear the drums and the guitar start to play. I cringed, backing away slowly. Then, suddenly, a man's voice poured out from the speakers:

"_It's too late baby, there's no turning around  
_

_I've got my hands in my pocket and my head in a cloud  
_

_This is how I do  
_

_When I think about you  
_

_I never thought that you could break me apart  
_

_I keep a sinister smile and a hold of my heart  
_

_You want to get inside  
_

_Then you need to get in line  
_

_But not this time _

Cause you caught me off guard  


_Now I'm running and screaming _

I feel like a hero and you are my heroine

I won't try to philosophize  


_I'll just take a deep breath and I'll look in your eyes  
_

_This is how I f-."_

His words were cut short by my own piercing scream.

Jacob bolted out of the bed to where I stood, screeching my lungs out hysterically just a few feet off. His hands flew to his ears, only to remove one in a haste to shut off the stereo.

I just kept at my howling.

"Shh… Bells. Shh…" He encased me in his strong arms. As he smoothed my hair and continued to shush me, I eventually calmed.

"What was that, Jake?" I didn't recall ever once listening to this CD. And it was an unwelcome guest in my house.

"I'm so sorry. That's my CD. I put it on last night when you fell asleep to pass the time. I didn't think you would want to use the boom box this morning-."

"I didn't." I grimaced. "I fell onto the power button."

He laughed, shaking me with him. I could just vaguely feel the edges of the hole terrorizing my insides. This was a comradely moment, not one of lovers. Apparently this was okay for me. I'd have to set some boundary lines for myself, lest what happened that night happen again.

He stopped, laying his head on my hair and inhaling. The pain started to hiss.

"Um, Jake? Could you not do that?" He immediately removed himself and I could see a dejected look on his face. The patch Jacob had begun to weave over the hole in my chest began to wither with this look. I sighed. "Maybe we should get some breakfast. Cereal, okay?"

His nose scrunched. "Come on, Bella. I know this isn't a bed and breakfast or anything, but doesn't Chief Swan keep anything a little more appetizing around?"

That brought me to another question. "Where's Charlie?" How could my dad cope with a guy sleeping in the same bed as me? Any other father would have a heart attack, even if sleeping was the _only _thing we were doing. The fact that Charlie favored Jacob would have no affect in this area.

Jake winked. "Don't worry. Charlie's down at the station with the other officers. He did check up on you this morning. Good thing for my super hearing, huh? I just hid in your closet until he left. Nothing bad, I promise."

My thoughts went bitter for a moment. _What was with Mythical creatures and hijacking my closet? Is there something fun about hiding in there that I didn't quite grasp with my dull human capabilities?_

I stomped down the stairs and into the kitchen with a confused oversized teenage boy behind me- a teenage boy that could phase into a wolf as he pleased.

I slammed a cereal box onto the table were Jake sat awaiting his undeserved breakfast, and placed a bowl in front of eat of our seats.

"Yuck," he groaned, "Cereal."


	4. Long Forgotten

**(A/N: In this chapter I think I made Bella seem a little too depressed than she actually could claim to be, but... I was a little rushed, and made my 3 pgs on word minimum. I really just wanted to bring Rose and Alice back into the Forks scene, so... I'll focus a little more on the next peice. Try to enjoy, and R&R for me, please!)**

Chapter Four- Long Forgotten

(Bella's Point of View)

Ever since breakfast at Emily and Sam's, I don't think I have ever stopped being amazed at how much werewolves can eat. As I looked at Jacob now, he was practically cramming the cereal box down his throat.

He sighed and patted his stomach, "Cheerios, huh? Well I guess it wasn't that _bad_ of a snack."

_Snack? Snack! He just ate my breakfast for the next two weeks!_

"Sorry, Jake. I haven't really been to the grocery store in a while, so there isn't much else to, um… _eat_." If that's what you called it; more like inhaling.

"S' Alright, Bells. I should probably get back to the Rez' soon, anyways."

"Oh, right."

"You want to come today?"

I looked away from his unabashed and hopeful eyes, bringing my bowl over to the sink to scrub clean. "No, thanks, I think I'll just stay home. I've got some chores and homework to catch up on."

He stood slowly. I could hear the dining chair shriek against the linoleum as it was pushing away from the table.

His hand was on my shoulder, startling me so I dropped the dish into the filled sink with a plunk and a splash.

"Call me, okay?" I still didn't turn around. "Promise? If anything goes wrong." That included Victoria, vampires, nine-one-one calls, and breaking body parts if I fell down the stairs.

He wouldn't part until I obliged, so I did and bade him goodbye.

Finally, I was alone; really alone. –_Alone-. _It was a curse and a gift at the same time. I was fearful of the memories that came at times like these, but I could tell they were coming, either way, and I didn't want Jacob around to see me like this. The return of my somewhat-insanity before was already torture enough for him.

'_Leaving…' _My mind wandered and I found myself day dreaming of running in the forest this time. The same scene, but it was changed. He was closer this time than he had ever been before in my nightmares. Only a white blur, but I could see him, and I was keeping up.

Weeping sounded through the tree boughs. I though it was me; but it couldn't be. It was too deep and husky and coming from before me. _Him?_ Impossible. What would he have to cry about, even in my hazy thoughts.

I drew myself back to reality. This was tormenting. So close, but I just couldn't catch up. And it didn't matter- it was only a dream, and he didn't love me, anymore. I doubt he ever did.

The depression was coming back at full force, and the puncture inside my chest was burning away at the edges, opening it larger.

There was only one thing I needed: to hear _his _voice.

I let the bowls float in the sink water as I procured a steak knife from the utensil's drawer. The blade wasn't sharp, but it could cut with the proper amount of force, making it a lethal threat.

Perching the knife light as a feather touch on my wrist I waiting for the warning, but there was nothing. _Of course not, a cut here wouldn't be fatal, silly Bella_, I thought. Then, I repositioned the tip at the base of my throat. This wasn't as dangerous as jumping off a cliff, or propelling at dangerous speeds on a motorcycle, but it would do. I could hear him already.

_Isabella, this is pushing the line. Drop the knife now._

"It doesn't matter. What do you care? Maybe I want this…" I mumbled.

I expected a reply from the voice in my head, yet instead I heard someone else.

"Bella, No!"

The implement was torn delicately out of my tightly clenched hand by colder fingers than even my shaking ones.

I fell to the floor and brought my knees into my chest, hugging them close, and closing my eye so tight they started to throb in pain.

"Open your eyes, Bella," A bell like voice pleaded with me.

Victoria? No, this person was much too friendly. But they still weren't human, that much I was certain. Yet I recognized them, somewhere, someone… like I knew them from another life.

"What's wrong with her?" Someone else here as well: another immortal to torment me. Did this last stunt reward me with two new voices in my head? Or am I dead, finally? They sounded like angels from heaven. I wish they were, but I was terrified of death. Not now, not when I didn't get to say goodbye… to Charlie, and Jake… and _Edward_- that is if he would ever hear from me again. Not likely. I was doomed to die unloved. My one chance with Jacob, and I couldn't even take it, it wounded so much!

Stone arms carried me into the living room. I could feel the couch support my bottom as I was placed down.

"I'm not sure. Isabella, can you hear me?"

"No, go away." Tears oozed out from behind my closed lids. "Why are you hear? Are you trying to kill me?"

A sigh of relief followed this. "No, I would do no such thing. You called me hear, if I remember correctly. Did you not want me to come after all?"

I remembered that high pitched, tinkling voice. Was it really her? Did she see me after all? "Alice?" I peeked out of one blurred eye. I saw a mess of black ink and white smear.

Her cold arms encased me in what could only be a loving gesture.

"Yes, it's me. And Rosalie. We've come back for you. And I'm not going to leave… _ever _again."

I brushed over my wetted lashes with a fist to clear my vision.

_Alice! _

_Rosalie!_

_They really are back._

A long forgotten smile cracked over my lips. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."


	5. Empathy

**(A/N: I'm sorry. This isnt one of my best chapters, by far... but it's holiday time, and I'm more into writing my christmas story for twilight, but i just need to update... and soo... well, it's a pretty hectic time and all that jazz -jazz hands- ... I'll update, ... sometime. )**

Chapter 5- Empathy

(Rosalie's Point of View)

I watched Alice cradle Isabella as she cried on the living room couch. And I kept my distance and stood in the archway, separating the two rooms.

Humans always looked so fragile, but I'd never seen another human look as breakable or hopeless as Bella did now. Her hair was haloed around her head in knots, and the bruises beneath her eyes were darker than mine even on a bad day. Her skin rivaled mine in paleness, and she practically reeked of insomnia. Poor, _poor,_ Bella.

I would never understand how willing she was to join our lifestyle, but some things were becoming clearer that even Edward wouldn't bend to.

My mind phased back to the day in the woods I found Emmett, several decades ago.

'_Stupid, beautiful hair, you're pulling at my head this way', I thought as my figure blurred with the speed of the chase. I wished I'd tied my hair back…_

_The deer ran swiftly, but of course I was much faster. Perhaps it was cruel, yet I couldn't help but tease the weak creature. Hunting for meals were so boring these day; especially with Edward. Carlisle and Esme still insisted on brother-sister camping trips. So today was a relief to be able to go alone, and I would make it the best._

_Interrupting my pleasurable thoughts was a howl- the piercing howl of a man. Then, followed by the call of a large animal. _

_Inside my heart wrenched and my body stopped, allowing my prey to escape in my momentary lapse. The smell of human blood flooded through my widened nostrils. The scent burned, but it was too late to hold my breath. The venom smoldered behind my throat, a sour and bitter taste. I image my eyes turned pitch black. But I wouldn't give in, not now, when I've done so well under my father's instructions._

_Oh! But the smell! Beautiful, beautiful, blood!_

_I was moving again, even swifter through the trees… and then he came into view._

_His skin was scratched, and I saw the tears stinging down his bruised cheeks. A bear hovered over the great muscular boy, threatening his life with lethal paws._

_I could take both, easily. First the man, and then the bear to wash him down, so no one would know. I could start over. There really is no limit to my time here in this world, so why not?_

_But his hair, and his face! _

_Thoughts of my childhood friend returned to me. I saw a little boy in her arms, his mother's arms. His dimples and dark curly hair clearly outlined against light skin as he laughed and reached for me. I held him for but a moment, jealous of his childlike beauty and innocence. Thinking of how I could have children much handsomer than this little tyke, but was never able to with my fate._

_The man's hair was dark and curly, and his blue eyes tearing and glistening. Even his dimples spoke out to me from the mask of pure pain etched across his slightly tanned face, even so. _

_I had to, I just had to. He couldn't die. Never. There was so much longing in my heart for this stranger. It frustrated me, and made me want to end his life that much quicker, but I couldn't. He was my little boy now, my child, my lover._

_I charged and rammed into the enormous animal's side, taking it by surprise. In my anger, the need to drink was gone, leaving the beast in tact. It ran away sounding its irritation loudly. _

_I looked upon the man, a boy really. He was dying, that much was clear. And I had to save him- needed to for my sake. These feelings were completely irrational! _

_But I couldn't change him by myself. I would just end up sucking him dry of all life, in the end._

_Carlisle._

_He screamed as my cold arms picked him up, no words decipherable. Just strangled cries like a tortured prisoner._

_I held my breath as I ran, hoping to return home before his final heart beat._

I recalled returning home to my 'parents'. I pleaded until Carlisle agreed to change him. Within three days Emmett was my full fledged partner, by my side ever since. He called me his 'Angel', unlike anyone ever had. Just like Edward called his Bella, as she would always be his personal savoir.

But what Edward didn't realize was that Bella was the one needing saving right now. Leaving her didn't protect anyone, only making us vulnerable to ourselves.

I could tell the memory of my brother in her mind was haunting her every moment. Just like Emmett would haunt mine if I didn't save him that day during my travels in the woods. Heaven forbid, if I had killed him, I would probably appear even worse than Bella.

She must think she had failed, that she was unwanted. The good vampire was gone and her love lost. In her place stood a tormented soul.

There was no way to express my feelings to Bella, to tell her I understood. Besides, who would listen to me, Rose? It was clear everyone thought I hated her, but in truth, we were more alike than one could possibly comprehend.


	6. The Rescue

Chapter 6- The Rescue

(Alice's Point Of View)

"We can't leave her here, Alice." Rosalie hissed, too low for Bella to here. "You saw what happened with the knife. She may not have been trying to kill herself, but she's unstable. It's dangerous to leave her here."

"I understand. I don't give a shit about what Edward will say, but Carlisle probably won't approve if we... _kidnap_ Bella- though I don't think that's the correct term."

"Let's call it 'rescuing'."

I shook my head. "You know I want to. Rose, I just don't think we can get away with it." I looked down at Bella. Her crying jag had started again as she blinked away the tears to keep staring at me. I wouldn't doubt that there were many contradicting thoughts flooding her head right now. I wish I could explain everything myself, but then there are some things even I don't understand.

"Do you smell that?" Rosalie inquired, her nose scrunched against the foul perfume of the air. I did smell it. It smelled like burnt toast, dirt floor, and wet dog, all rolled into one- like a used tube sock being lit over a campfire. Disgusting.

Was Bella getting slack in her cleaning? No possible way. She always had the impulse to clean in her spare time, and with us gone there would be a _lot_ of time on her hands. I know. I saw. If she wasn't scrubbing some surface, Bella would sit down and read or listen to her music. Scratch that. A month or so ago I saw her cracking CD's in half over a garbage can. And for the most part my visions only depicted her breaking down, falling with no one to catch her, or lying in bed and staring at the ceiling- the most heartbreaking times when the tears filled her eyes so much she couldn't even depend on the ceiling to be there.

With no conclusions in mind, I replied, "Yes. What is that?"

"Werewolves," she growled quietly. "from the Quilette Tribe down at La Push. I remember the same stench from the first time Carlisle brought us here. One of those mongrels has been in the house."

I knew about werewolves from what the others had told me. Their anger made them phase making them dangerous creatures to be around. One simple conversation could go from a chat to a heated debate and then a lethal wolf in just a matter of moments.

Rosalie is right: Bella can't stay here.

"Alight," I breathed. "Can you pack her bags? I'll tell Bella. We leave as soon as possible for the airport."

Rosalie nodded and spirited away, up the stairs to ransack our little human's closet.

I smiled. _Our little human. _She was our Bella again. We would heal her, teach her to trust and forgive. Of course, we'll all need to learn to forgive. Edward is the walking dead, no pun intended. He never imagined what the affects of us leaving would be and never dared to ask me. It is called a love _life_; and when it's gone we'll call it love _dead. _

(Bella's Point of View)

Alice was smiling down on me and hugging me closer to her. She fingered through the knots of my hair and cooed like a mother over her child, telling me to remain calm and how much she missed me. She told me we would never be apart again. She mentioned shopping trips we would take in the future, a new hairstyle she wanted to try on me. I listened as she talked about Jasper and how he wanted to see me again, just like all the other Cullens. Except for one. She wouldn't mention _him. _And I was glad for it.

But I couldn't place everything. Everyone was going to see me soon- that much I know. However, were all the vampire's making a rendezvous down to Forks just for me? Nothing fit with what she was telling me, though I wanted so much all of these things.

"When are they coming?"

Alice looked taken aback at my question. Then she seemed to mentally hit herself in the head, her wide grin returning even fuller than before.

"You're leaving with us today, Bella. You're coming to live with us up in Alaska. Isn't that great?" She exclaimed all this in one excited breath, although breathing was an option for her.

And when she announced that it was like heaven was shining down on me one last time. The entire life… the family I had once lost was mine again if I would take it, and according to Alice I was. Carlisle and Esme's coven were more family than my biological family, and their 'children' like the siblings I never had. There were some issues in the way that needed taking care of first.

"But what about Charlie?" I asked her. "And Jacob?" I added next.

"You're a legal adult now. Leave a note for Charlie, we'll include our phone number so he can call, and tell him you just needed to get away for awhile, and you moved to Alaska."

I supposed Charlie would wonder why I chose Alaska- he wouldn't know about the Cullen family living there. Everyone thought they moved to Los Angeles. Alaska was far away, and I'll be writing I want to get _away_. I hope he makes the connection. No uncertainties about him being worried though. I know he will be. I would be too if I was my father and had a daughter like me.

"What about Jacob?" I persisted.

One of her eyebrows quirked. "Jacob?"

"Jacob Black, from the Reservation?"

Her golden eyes darkened to a ferocious ebony, framed by eyelids that narrowed to slits. "The werewolf," she snarled.

"You know?" I gasped. I immediately regretted that as my sore throat caused me to sputter and cough from the harsh intake of breath.

Alice rubbed my back soothingly, answering, "We're vampires. You didn't expect us not to know, did you?"

"I…" cough. "I guess not."

"What about him, Bells?" She pushed further. "Why does he matter? You do know its vampires or werewolves, don't you? We are natural born enemies."

"I know that. But the werewolves have been watching me since you left… and Jacob… he was kind of like my caretaker. If I leave the pack will worry and probably hunt down whoever took me."

"So you want to stay with the dogs instead?" Her face fell into a sad expression. I felt the need to comfort Alice, but comfort from me lacks since I have none myself.

I thought of last night with Jacob and this morning and the days I spend down at La Push with the wolf-men. Embry, Jared, Paul, Sam. And then the time I shared with Emily. It was familiar there but I never felt quite welcome. I would always be the vampire girl. And after last night's reveling kiss I realized that the werewolves- Jacob- and how I am now is not the life for me. In fact, staying here is hardly a life at all.

"Of course not. I think I _need _to go with you, Alice."

My friend's eyes regained some of their happy luster and creamy butterscotch color. She nodded in agreement. Then placing a hand on my arm, said, "I think you do too."

Just then Rosalie appeared at the bottom of the stairs, several bags containing most of my belongings in hand. "Did you tell her yet, Alice? We need to get going soon. I want to catch the earliest plane we can. I don't like the smell of this place."

I sniffed the air quickly. The couch we were sitting on smelled like campfire smoke and fresh leaves. Even the air was tinged with the scent that could only be Jacob- the werewolf. I connected this instantly. Just the smell of their rivals must make them uneasy. It was logical.

"Let me just write the notes," I said, picking myself up from my seat and heading into the kitchen. The two vampires followed right behind me.

I passed by the knife still sitting hauntingly on its perch on the counter like it was jeering at me. But it no longer represented Edward's voice. I represented all the mistakes I had made. What if my cliff diving experience had been fatal? Or the motorcycles- the strangers at the bar? If I had died, all for the sake of a lost cause, where would I be now? Certainly not leaving the nightmares of my past behind with Alice and Rosalie. Anywhere else would be hell.

_Charlie, I'm leaving. I know this is such short notice, but I need to just get away for awhile. _Far_ away. This has nothing to do with you. It's all me. I've been such a burden to you these past months, and to myself. I'm leaving for Alaska- that looked like a far enough place to go. I already have a place to stay and here's a number you can call me at if you need me or worry or something…_

I paused for Alice to give further instruction. She took the pen and neatly scrawled down the numbers to look exactly like my own handwriting, yet amazingly better.

_I have all my things I need. I love you, Dad, and I'll miss you. Bella._

And then the next letter: Jacob's letter, that would probably be more of a challenge than any essay I had to write for an assignment, ever.

_Jacob, I hope this letter gets to you safely. Don't worry about me, and don't try to find me. I'm leaving. Charlie has my number if you need to contact me- which you shouldn't. Tell Sam and the others I'm grateful for their protection… and if you find Victoria… call me. I want to know. Don't do anything risky, and don't hurt yourself. Tell the pack to be safe. I don't want any vengeful vampire hurting any of you. Got that? I'll be safe. I'm with friends. _

_Love. _Scratch.

_Yours. _Scratch.

_Sincerely. _Scratch.

I sighed. Nothing fits. We never did.

_Bella._ I simply wrote my name and folded the paper in half, placing it beside the note for my father. These would satisfy neither of them; at least I know I tried.

"Come on," Rosalie said. To my surprise she was looking at me with a genuine warm smile playing across her lips.

"Rosalie?" I couldn't believe it.

With one hand occupied with one of my suitcases she used her free hand to grab my shoulder and pull me into a hug.

"Welcome back, Bella," She said.

**AN: I forgot how much fun writing this story is… not that there's anything fun in it… yet. I got a review urging me to keep writing this the other day. So I went back and reread the story I had going so far. Then I was ready to write the next chapter. I figure Bella needs to escape the oppressive town of Forks, Washington already. Moving in with Renee would be back, she would just see how pointless her life was before she met Edward. So, ta-da! Rosalie- who is undergoing some serious rethinking and emotional change… you'll see. I always thought Rosalie could be a little bit more than the shallow character she was pegged to be. To the airport we go! To hell and back :)**


	7. Your Witness

Chapter 7- Your Witness

Chapter 7- Your Witness 

(Nancy –an outside character's POV)

My second honeymoon, finally: I thought happily, resting my hand I my husband's- who slept happily in the adjoining seat at a ripe old age of sixty-two. So few passengers sat first class, making it seem more luxurious than it actually is; riding a plane is riding a plane. If I didn't have my rock beside me I would probably succumb to the nausea that always came to me from flying so high in such a heavy metal contraption. Here I go again. Deep breaths, Nancy. Deep breaths. In out… in out… think about George. I rubbed his hand affectionately- much better. As long as I always had my love with me.

And then I turned and saw something I had never had to face in my life time. It was something horrendous and piteous, and whatever demon caused this should be burned at the stake. All that heartbreak I saw bottled up in that girl- so fragile looking like a porcelain doll, tiny and helpless- seemed almost suicidal. Her face was buried behind a waterfall of tangled mahogany hair and one slender pale arm pressed down on it to hold her airplane headphones in place. She wasn't listening, I could tell that. She was blocking everything out. I'm not sure how I could sense her depression without even one look into her eyes, but just the way she clutched her legs to her abdomen so tightly I thought she might've been trying to hold herself together.

She swiped the hair from her forehead slowly to show a sticky sheen on her brow. She was panting heavily and her friends with her couldn't figure out what to do. Their hands patted down her hair and they whispered kind words but the sad creature only cried and shook, pulling herself even tighter into a human ball.

I waved down a peppy looking flight attendant and asked for a water bottle and a paper cup. She obliged and was back within the minute with what I asked for. I thanked her and making sure no one was looking, let go of George's hand to bounce up a seat.

"Here," I said to the small pixie-like girl with the spiky black hair. I quickly poured a cup full of the fancy spring water and handed it to her over top of the broken girl. "It'll help," I promised her wary gaze. "It's not healthy for her to be like that. She'll get dehydrated soon."

"Thank you," the pixie said and gently lifted her friend's head up to pour some of the liquid into her mouth. "Shh, Bella. Shh. It's all right. Don't you worry about _him._" The anonymous name was filled with spite. After draining the cup the sad girl turned to me.

I was somewhat frightened by the insomniac-like bruises bellow her eyes and the dried tear stains down her cheeks- completely devoid of all color, except in her warm brown eyes. I could see a little hope in that color, defying the sadness that gripped her.

"Who are you?" She asked.

"Nancy," I stated simply. "Are you alright now dear? You had your friends and I worried."

"No, I'm not alright," she said, shaking her head. "I'm Bella. But, thanks for the water. That was very thoughtful of you, Nancy."

"Dear," I said sadly. "I don't understand, but I know." Bella looked at me shocked and confused at the same time within her same melancholy expression. "Whoever he is don't let him go. Find him."


	8. Hyperventilation

Chapter 8- Hyperventilation

Chapter 8- Hyperventilation

(Bella's Pov)

Maybe I am bipolar, or perhaps it's just the aftermath cause by my latest decisions. Whatever the reason, as soon as Alice, Rosalie and I took our seats the frayed edges of my mind went haywire. The calm waves in the sea of my thoughts became a tempest, stirred by the memories of a shunned past.

Once again the threat of James returned to the present. He was coming, as if the dismembered limbs came whole again- unburned from the damage the Cullen brothers had ensued- and resumed tracking me.

The blonde headed vampire beside Alice and I was Jasper, not Rosalie. We were waiting on the benches for the next flight to come in. I remember the haunting lilt to the voice on the telephone, and Renee's frightened squeaks. Edward and the rest of the family were to rendezvous with us here. The sounds of planes lifting off the tarmac echoed in the air, just as it was around me- here in the future.

Only Edward was not coming for me.

My breath rushed unevenly into my lungs, burning my throat. Hyperventilation, I believe it was called. Beads of moisture leaked from the pores in my skin, perspiring. I could hear a dirge buzzing in my ears. This could not be happening.

Every detail of times past replayed in my head, trying to convince me that the 'now' was really 'then'. That the auburn-haired immortal really did not exist as I'd thought he did. He never caused this crater to open inside me. James was coming and there was no one to protect me with his comforting words. No one I would risk my life to save along with my mother. At this moment I was completely and utterly alone.

"Bella?" Alice's voice beckoned to me, alarm evident in her tone. "Bella… Bella… _Bella…_"

I curled inward, scrunching myself together until I was as insignificant and small as I could be. The edges of the hole licked with fire, slowly burning wider, and I feared it would engulf me entirely if this continued.

"Bella?" Her cool hand lightly skimmed over my own, making her physical presence known.

Alice is here, Bella. She wouldn't leave you, wouldn't let you die. _He_ was wrong. _He_ will always exist. The horrible thought of him being erased from existence could almost shred my already damaged life to unusable pieces.

"Bella?" She called again, palms and fingers waving wildly in the air. I turned my head toward her, using my hair to hide my shameful tears away from the other passengers.

**In answer to 3SavageSkillet's review: **_Tis good but how did Bella go from relative calm to hyperventillating on a plane that fast? personal opinion the next chapter should be this one from Bella, Alice, or Rosalie's POV but including how Bella went from chill to psycho that quick__**.**_**: I slapped myself in the head, you're right! So I wrote this chapter, sort of as an interlude kind of piece, in dedication of you. This should explain it. Bella remembers her past experience with Planes- involving James' coven- and fears that today's actions may replace her memories of the past. If you didn't understand that in the passage above, because it was hard for me to depict such a thing and I'll understand, at least you can read my author's note! –Vampire Crayons. **


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